Emotional Flooding 101

We've all been there! Anger. Increased heart rate. Increased blood pressure. The secretion of adrenaline. Any kind of 'threat' (beit hunger or an emotional violation) creates the same physiological response as if someone were threatening you physically.  The logical, thoughtful part of your brain, the pre-frontal cortex, shuts down and the amygdala kicks in. The amygdala doesn't care what you think. There's no time for that! Its role is to get you the heck outta the situation (fight, flight, or freeze)! YOU CAN'T THINK CLEARLY OR HEAR WHAT YOUR PARTNER IS SAYING.

The solution: TAKE A 20-30 minute break. Don't ruminate about whatever the issue was during this break. Practice SELF-SOOTHING.  Agree to resume your talk later.

~Lisa

Are People Who Have Affairs LIARS?

"Oh what a tangled web we weave...."

Are people who have affairs LIARS? How could it be otherwise?

Discovering a trail of sexual encounters or emotional attachments is painful, but the lying and deception are the most appalling violations.

If you are married to someone who has been having an affair (either physical OR emotional), you have to be able to decipher if the lying is a consequence of this particular situation or an embedded personality trait that is a matter of character.

Lies of commission or lies of ommission? Either way they have a way of scaffolding.

Unfaithful partners report they are protecting their partners from the pain, but in actuality, they are protecting themselves from exposure and having to end the affair.

When the affair is discovered, COMING CLEAN and being upfront about the extent of the affair is the only way for the betrayed spouse to begin recover. FULL DISCLOSURE of significant facts needs to happen in the beginning stages of recovery.

~Lisa

How to Talk to Your Daughter About Her Body

I recently posted this great article by Sarah Koppelkam via Huffington to my personal Facebook page. I just love the message. And as my friend pointed out, such a poignant message for parents raising girls AND boys. Have a read....

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sarah-koppelkam/body-image_b_3678534.html?ir=Parents

~Lisa