You both are feeling ‘unheard’ and having trouble seeing the issue or situation from your partner’s point of view. If there’s lots of conflict in your relationship about what seems like everything, even the little stuff, consider that it is difficult to get to the place where you can productively consider potential solutions to your problems if neither of you feels like the other person hears where you’re coming from.
When there has been emotional or physical infidelity. You may think you can work through this on your own, but a professional can create a meaningful framework for the recovery process, provide a safe space for each individual to be heard, help redefine the relationship, and create a narrative lending an understanding as to how the relationship got to a place where it became vulnerable to the affair in order to recognize the first signs in the future and innoculate the relationship against any potential threats.
When you are having difficulty adjusting to a major life transition, such as parenthood, launching of children, or dealing with the problems and responsibilities associated with aging parents. Let’s face it, when our lives get turned upside down, and what we once knew to be ‘normal’ seems so far away, it takes some adjusting, not only as an individual, but also as a couple. Our ‘normal’ patterns of interaction and reaction may not make sense given the new circumstances.

~Lisa

Still looking for one word for 2014? Consider the word 'CHOICES'. Stuck in a personal rut or unhealthy relationship cycle? We all have CHOICES about how we think about our situation, what we do about it, and how we respond to those around us. As humans we are wired to pay attention to the negative. Think about what would happen to our ancestors if they weren't hyper-sensitive to any potential threats (negatives). They'd be wiped out by a saber tooth tiger or other unforseen threat! However, if they passed up a watering hole or fruit tree (both positives), chances are they would pass another at some point, so it wasn't as critical to notice the positive around them. Paying attention to the negative was critical while noticing the positive wasn't beneficial when the name of the game was survival. This is where the work comes in for those of us whose lives aren't in daily jeopardy, and who desire to live happily. YOU HAVE A CHOICE AS TO WHAT YOU PAY ATTENTION TO. If you are new to this process, in the beginning stages paying attention to the positive takes commitment and perseverance. It's not natural. Your brain isn't wired to pay attention to the positive. With time and practice, paying attention to the positive can become second-nature, and when it does, how you view yourself and the world around will shift, and your life will become the life you envision it to be.

Happy New Year,

Lisa