POST-PARTUM DEPRESSION
By Lisa Hunter, LMFTA
It’s been 10 months, and the moment has arrived. There isn’t a thing out of place in the nursery, the tiny clothes are all washed (in a gentle, baby-friendly, environmentally-safe detergent, of course), and you’ve sat in that rocking chair picturing yourself gently lulling your baby back to sleep (naturally for the rest of the night… it’s your dream, right?) so that you can get some sleep and finish that 'Do-It-Yourself' kitchen project you’ve been planning to do once you had some ‘time off from work’. You’re positive the birth and the few months following will be exactly as you’ve always dreamed; that you’ll feel closer to your spouse than you’ve ever been (lots of date nights discussing which of baby’s traits are from each side of the family…don’t worry, he’ll claim all the ‘good’ ones), and that this tiny being will complete your life…. After all, that’s how it is in the media, right? It’s the second happily-ever-after. Blissful. Ethereal. Magical. Purposeful. And, who’s to say your life won’t become all of these things… (eventually)?
In another scenario, maybe your pregnancy wasn’t planned. It’s ‘not the right time’. You’re not ready for a child. Whatever the circumstances, many women expect one experience following the birth of a child and are often shell-shocked when handed another. This punctuated transition is often accompanied by:
- · Exhaustion resulting from recovery from giving birth and from sleepless nights
- · Less time with your spouse
- · Less time with girlfriends
- · Feelings of detachment from what you once knew to be your ‘real’ world.
- · Biochemical adjustments the hormones which supported your pregnancy rapidly fall in the hours or days following giving birth
- · Loss of freedom as caring for the newborn becomes the priority
The time immediately following giving birth is one of the most stressful, anxiety-provoking times in a woman’s life cycle, and it is my opinion that our individualistic, competitively-driven society has conditioned women to avoid discussing their extreme difficulties. It’s one thing to gripe with your girlfriends over a margarita about how your husband refuses to pick up his dirty laundry, but to bare your soul and admit that you are having a hard time functioning as in not having the energy or desire to take a shower more than once in one week …; as in holding this tiny, perfect piece of you, experiencing no joy, and telling yourself that you don’t see any way out of feeling this way…ever; as in sobbing when your husband leaves for work each morning. Talking about these things is often not in our societal makeup because once they’re ‘out there,’ means we’ve admitted failure, right? Ask for help? Hmmmph. As women, we tell ourselves we should be able to handle this on our own, just like our mothers and all the other women that bore children before us. ‘What’s wrong with me?’. It’s destructive, non-productive thoughts such as these along with biochemical changes in our bodies following giving birth that can lead to a downward spiral leaving new moms experiencing post-partum depression.
It’s important to distinguish between the following types of post-partum mood disorders as described by the Mayo Clinic:
Baby blues symptoms
Signs and symptoms of the baby blues — which last only a few days or weeks — may include:
- · Mood swings
- · Anxiety
- · Sadness
- · Irritability
- · Crying
- · Decreased concentration
- · Trouble sleeping
Post-partum depression symptoms
Post-partum depression may appear to be the baby blues at first — but the signs and symptoms are more intense and longer lasting, eventually interfering with your ability to care for your baby and handle other daily tasks. Postpartum depression symptoms may include:
- · Loss of appetite
- · Insomnia
- · Intense irritability and anger
- · Overwhelming fatigue
- · Loss of interest in sex
- · Lack of joy in life
- · Feelings of shame, guilt or inadequacy
- · Severe mood swing
- · Difficulty bonding with the baby
- · Withdrawal from family and friends
- · Thoughts of harming yourself or the baby
Untreated, postpartum depression may last for a year or more.
Post-partum psychosis
With post-partum psychosis — a rare condition that typically develops within the first two weeks after delivery — the signs and symptoms are even more severe. Signs and symptoms of postpartum psychosis may include:
- · Confusion and disorientation
- · Hallucinations and delusions
- · Paranoia
- · Attempts to harm yourself or the baby
No matter which type of post-partum disorder you may be dealing with, marriage and family therapists can help explore your thoughts and feelings, normalize your experience, and help you recognize your strengths and regain a sense of self during this transitional period. If you or someone you know is struggling after giving birth, please encourage her to reach out and talk to someone about her experience.
Intentionally Yours,
Lisa